Me: Are you wearing slippers?
Nell: Of course I am. Where are yours?
Me: Upstairs.
Nell: Well, put them on quickly. We need a quiet house. Have you finished your porridge?
Me: I’m not really in a porridge mood.
Nell: It’s made with honey.
Me: I was hoping for bacon as it’s Sunday.
Nell: Don’t mention that word.
Me: Why?
Nell: David is on soft food and we’re all supporting him. Were you even listening to the new guidelines at Morning Thoughts?
Me: No. I was thinking how wonderful it was of Kev to sleep downstairs with you all so I could get a good night’s sleep.
Nell: Kev might need to go back to bed this afternoon as we had a very disturbed night with David coughing.
Me: Was Dave awfully sick?
Nell: I’m afraid he was but he likes his new toy.
Me: My poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Now, although there is a no dancing rule around David at the moment, couples can still practise elsewhere.
Me: Is Sunday Songs still going ahead?
Nell: Yes. With quiet songs. The Welsh Corgi Choir are fully informed and the llamas are wearing ballet shoes.
Me: Is there any chance of a roast dinner later?
Nell: No. We are saving that for next weekend when Chris is here.
Me: What about afternoon tea?
Nell: I’m afraid scones are a little too crumbly for David’s sensitive throat.
Me: Jam and cream are soft.
Nell: You can’t have jam and cream without a scone. Don’t be silly. David will be having a banana split. Ice cream is cool and soothing and bananas are nutritious.
Me: I don’t think Dave likes bananas.
Nell: He won’t know they’re there. Poppy is turning it into a milkshake. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
