Nell is Home

Me: Oh, Nell, you’re home.

Nell: Of course I am.

Me: I woke up this morning and there you were next to my bed.

Nell: As soon as I heard you were unwell I said to Rupert, ‘I don’t care if they’ve caught that wretched lion or not, I’m going home. She needs me.’

Me: I’ve missed you terribly.

Nell: Now, with a cold and a cough it’s essential to keep up your liquid intake.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And nothing beats lemon and honey tea.

Me: Ok.

Nell: Poppy is also preparing some chicken soup for lunch.

Me: It isn’t really soup weather.

Nell: I don’t care, soup is what you’re having.

Me: What about ice cream?

Nell: We’ll see.

Me: What’s the news on Lionel?

Nell: They thought they spotted him on Dartmoor but it turned out to be a lynx.

Me: A lynx? What on earth was it doing on Dartmoor?

Nell: Hiking with the family. Beauregard said it wasn’t best pleased.

Me: It wouldn’t be. I expect it ruined its holiday.

Nell: Yes. Nobody wants to be pounced on by a tiger half way up Haytor.

Me: They certainly don’t. I wonder where Lionel is.

Nell: There have been several sightings. Sailing at Salcombe. Surfing at Bantham. The usual things. Beauregard will find him eventually.

Me: I hope he doesn’t turn up here.

Nell: He wouldn’t dare. Everyone is armed to the teeth.

Me: With swords?

Nell: No. That’s just Poppy. The others have wooden spoons and water pistols.

Me: Is that enough?

Nell: A hard tap on the muzzle will deter most lions and they hate getting their manes wet.

Me: I never knew that.

Nell: Why would you? Now, drink your lemon and honey and stop worrying about lions. I’m here now.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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