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Front Page News

Me: Dave is looking a bit crestfallen.

Nell: Have you seen the Daily Growl?

Me: Not yet.

Nell: David has made front page news.

Me: Oh my goodness.

Nell: I quote: ‘Lab about town Dave Martin from Devon was rescued from a tree house by an enterprising group of llamas.’

Me: Have the llamas joined the fire service?

Nell: No. May I continue?

Me: Of course.

Nell: ‘The llamas, who are part of the famous Glide with Gladys fitness programme, were busy practising in a nearby field when they heard of Dave’s predicament. After consultation with their instructor Gladys, and several members of the Whippets Institute who happened to be passing by, they carried their trampoline up to the tree house.’

Me: That was enterprising. Why were the Whippets Institute passing by?

Nell: They were delivering flyers for the jumble sale.

Me: I see.

Nell: ‘After a great deal of encouragement from the crowd Dave finally jumped from the tree house onto the trampoline and bounced into a nearby pool. The applause was deafening.’

Me: Was the applause Princess clapping again?

Nell: Yes, it was her pool.

Me: Lucky it was nearby.

Nell: That’s not all. Look who managed to get in on the act again.

Me: ‘Photos courtesy of Book a Beefy Aerial Photography.’ The cheek of it.

Nell: Trust them to cash in on David’s predicament.

Me: There was quite a crowd though, wasn’t there? Look at Dave’s dear little face just before he jumped. Poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: That’s not the point. The Beefies had no right to be secretly photographing it all. The wretched hooligans.

Me: But the main thing is that Dave is safe and it was a rather splendid example of Fearless Bouncing.

Nell: Fearless Bouncing? David was terrified.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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