Disgraceful Behaviour

Me: Why is Dave outside staring at the sky?

Nell: Something absolutely disgraceful has happened.

Me: He’s standing on his lounger.

Nell: Of course he’s standing on his lounger. He’s not going to let them do it again.

Me: Do what?

Nell: I can hardly bring myself to tell you.

Me: Oh my goodness. What’s happened?

Nell: Somebody has soiled David’s lounger.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And when I say ‘somebody’ I am referring to creatures of the feathered variety.

Me: Malcolm would never do such a thing.

Nell: Of course he wouldn’t. The mere suggestion.

Me: It wouldn’t have been an owl.

Nell: How dare you suggest a member of the Royal Owl Force would stoop so low?

Me: I wasn’t. I suppose it might be Walter Pigeon.

Nell: Walter is a possible suspect but I believe even he would draw the line at that.

Me: Yes, he much prefers playing Cowardy Custard.

Nell: Exactly. There is only one dastardly gang that would do such a thing. A gang with no morals. A gang full of rascals and hooligans and absolute reprobates.

Me: Are we talking about the Beefies here?

Nell: Of course we are. Wretched creatures. It has all the hallmarks of a Beefy attack.

Me: My poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He loves resting on his lounger.

Nell: Yes, he does and the Beefies know it.

Me: Fortunately it’s nothing that a bit of soap and water won’t fix.

Nell: You say that, but how can David feel safe on it again?

Me: He might have to start wearing a hat.

Nell: It’s a sad state of affairs when an animal can’t even lounge outside its own home.

Me: Yes. Truly fowl behaviour. See what I did there?

Nell: I shall ignore that.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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