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Waiting in the yellow chair

Me: Look at darling Harriet completely lost in thought.

Nell: She’s in the yellow chair.

Me: Is that a problem?

Nell: Just saying.

Me: It’s not your chair, you know. Everyone is allowed to sit in it.

Nell: It suits me best. David is too large, Poppy is too small.

Me: And Harriet fits it perfectly.

Nell: No. Harriet is too delicate.

Me: What utter nonsense.

Nell: The angles of the yellow chair are too sharp for Harriet. Notice her use of the grey cushion.

Me: I think she looks lovely.

Nell: Nobody said she didn’t. I would look lovely in a diamond collar but if the diamonds are sharp and uncomfortable I am not going to wear it again.

Me: You would never wear a diamond collar.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: Harriet seems pretty comfortable to me.

Nell: Well, she isn’t. She’s Waiting.

Me: For what?

Nell: It’s her job to alert us to the arrival of the food delivery van

Me: Not that again.

Nell: We all need to be at the window barking in unison.

Me: You really don’t.

Nell: And the barking has to continue the whole way through the delivery with no breaks.

Me: Does it though?

Nell: If one dog feels the need to pause through lack of bark the others must bark louder so the volume is maintained.

Me: I wish you wouldn’t.

Nell: The delivery people expect it.

Me: We all expect it, but we don’t want it.

Nell: It is our duty to make it clear that this house is under Animal Protection.

Me: Of course it is. We’re always going to look after all you animals.

Nell: You are silly sometimes. When are you going to realise that we are looking after you?

Me: Oh, I see. Sorry.

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