Me: Look at darling Harriet completely lost in thought.
Nell: She’s in the yellow chair.
Me: Is that a problem?
Nell: Just saying.
Me: It’s not your chair, you know. Everyone is allowed to sit in it.
Nell: It suits me best. David is too large, Poppy is too small.
Me: And Harriet fits it perfectly.
Nell: No. Harriet is too delicate.
Me: What utter nonsense.
Nell: The angles of the yellow chair are too sharp for Harriet. Notice her use of the grey cushion.
Me: I think she looks lovely.
Nell: Nobody said she didn’t. I would look lovely in a diamond collar but if the diamonds are sharp and uncomfortable I am not going to wear it again.
Me: You would never wear a diamond collar.
Nell: That’s not the point.
Me: Harriet seems pretty comfortable to me.
Nell: Well, she isn’t. She’s Waiting.
Me: For what?
Nell: It’s her job to alert us to the arrival of the food delivery van
Me: Not that again.
Nell: We all need to be at the window barking in unison.
Me: You really don’t.
Nell: And the barking has to continue the whole way through the delivery with no breaks.
Me: Does it though?
Nell: If one dog feels the need to pause through lack of bark the others must bark louder so the volume is maintained.
Me: I wish you wouldn’t.
Nell: The delivery people expect it.
Me: We all expect it, but we don’t want it.
Nell: It is our duty to make it clear that this house is under Animal Protection.
Me: Of course it is. We’re always going to look after all you animals.
Nell: You are silly sometimes. When are you going to realise that we are looking after you?
Me: Oh, I see. Sorry.