Nell: I’m afraid there has been an unfortunate incident of mistaken identity in the garden.
Me: Beefies in tank tops disguised as mallards again?
Nell: No. We’re used to that. It’s best to ignore them. This is much worse.
Me: What on earth happened?
Nell: Well, Seamus popped over unexpectedly with some fresh fish.
Me: That’s kind of him. I didn’t know Seamus went fishing.
Nell: There’s a lot you don’t know.
Me: True. How is he feeling?
Nell: Not as well as when he arrived.
Me: Was Naughty Nigel with him? Or Boo?
Nell: No. His mistake was to come here alone and unarmed.
Me: Apart from the fish.
Nell: He had already given it to The Cat. It’s having a barbecue.
Me: Are we invited?
Nell: Yes. But that’s not the point.
Me: Hang on. Why did Seamus need to be armed? He’s your cousin. He can come here any time.
Nell: It’s Easter weekend. Poppy is on high alert.
Me: Is she?
Nell: You know how she feels about the danger of chocolate.
Me: Yes. She won’t have it in the house. I’ll have to eat mine secretly.
Nell: What did you say?
Nell: Poppy thought Seamus was the Easter Terrier and boxed his ears.
Me: But she knows Seamus.
Nell: Her judgement was clouded.
Me: I thought the Easter Terrier was supposed to box the Easter Bunny’s ears.
Nell: Poppy says it needs to get its act together. The Easter Bunny is still distributing chocolate everywhere.
Me: Has Poppy apologised to Seamus?
Nell: Not really. She says it’s an easy mistake to make. Seamus is a terrier and it’s Easter.
Me: How is he?
Nell: Fine, but he’s going to call ahead next time. Would your chocolate be an Easter egg?
Me: Yes. Sorry.