Me: Could I just point something out to you?
Nell: David has a very dirty face.
Me: Yes, but doesn’t he look adorable? Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy smiling away.
Nell: He is filthy.
Me: That’s because Kev took Dave and Harriet running off lead in a secure field.
Nell: Without me.
Nell: Or Poppy.
Me: They were trying it out to see if it is a suitable place to go as an alternative for when the beach is too busy.
Nell: My opinion is obviously of no value.
Me: Rubbish. Anyway, that wasn’t what I wanted to point out.
Nell: And it’s my birthday tomorrow.
Me: I know.
Nell: I shall be 9 and a senior dog.
Me: I know that too.
Nell: Everybody seems to have forgotten all about me because of Mother’s Day.
Me: We haven’t forgotten. Honestly.
Nell: I don’t mind sharing my day with mothers as long as it is still my day.
Me: It’s only mothers in the UK. The other mothers celebrate on a different day.
Nell: Whatever the nationality of the mother it’s still my birthday.
Me: What I want to say, Nell, is that you seem to have taken all the beds, including Dave’s new one, and the blanket.
Nell: And your point is?
Me: You’re not really using any of them.
Nell: I don’t want muddy dogs in the beds.
Me: I see.
Nell: It makes it most unpleasant for any other dog, bird, insect, or larger animal who might be thinking of resting there.
Me: You’re not like this when you’ve been out on a walk.
Nell: So you are happy that David just climbed on your chair and spread mud all over your pillow, are you?
Nell: I rest my case.
Me: Yes. Sorry.