It’s Arrived

Me: Where have you all been?

Nell: Busy with Kev downstairs.

Me: Why?

Nell: It just arrived.

Me: What did?

Nell: The new bed from Fifi la Beefy. Knitwear Wolf found it in front of the door when he was delivering the morning papers.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: It was addressed to Ms Nell Martin from The Boutique of Madame Fifi la Beefy.

Me: Very posh.

Nell: It was so securely wrapped that we couldn’t open it.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Don’t worry. David went and asked Kev to help and he dealt with it swiftly.

Me: You could have asked me.

Nell: It takes you half an hour to get downstairs, let alone open a great big parcel. You’re injured. Remember?

Me: True. So what’s the new bed like?

Nell: Poppy is investigating it now.

Me: With her sword?

Nell: No. Paws and nose.

Me: I hope it isn’t bugged.

Nell: Henry and Horst and their associates are going to do a thorough check later. Never fear.

Me: Well, make sure you keep me posted.

Nell: I don’t have time for letters. I shall simply come upstairs and tell you.

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Talking of telling, I have something very important to share with you.

Me: Go ahead I’m all ears.

Nell: Don’t be silly. I received a disturbing message from one of my WoofsApp groups yesterday.

Me: Pilates?

Nell: No. Book Club. Squawk was spotted enjoying an evening stroll along the quay with another Beefy.

Me: That’s not disturbing.

Nell: It was Terry.

Me: Terry? I thought he hated Squawk.

Nell: He does.

Me: I suppose they are brothers and seagulls and members of the same wicked gang, so they have a lot in common.

Nell: They do not. Terry is nothing like Squawk.

Me: No. Sorry.

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