Me: What on earth is going on downstairs?
Nell: Don’t excite yourself. You are supposed to be resting after your fall.
Me: You mean after the puppies barged into me to go and greet Tony at the gate and knocked me off my feet?
Nell: Yes. Tony says you had no chance.
Me: They took my feet out from under me.
Nell: Fortunately, you didn’t break anything and are well padded.
Me: That’s one way of putting it. It jolly well hurts.
Nell: I know. David feels exceptionally awful about it all.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy but I can’t let him upstairs at the moment. It’s too risky.
Nell: He almost understands.
Me: There is no need to tear his bed apart though.
Nell: I’m afraid it had to be done.
Me: I don’t want him to lose his bed over this.
Nell: No. This is all part of the ongoing investigation.
Me: Oh, I see.
Nell: We are trying to establish how long this has been going on.
Me: Why is there greenery in the bed?
Nell: That’s not greenery. It’s Henry and Horst’s travelling foliage.
Me: Are they involved then?
Nell: Of course. This is a major operation you know. Insects are going undercover. Animals are risking losing their fur.
Nell: And some are even prepared to order beds they don’t need.
Me: Have you ordered a new bed?
Nell: I might have done. David can’t be expected to sleep in the old one. It’s torn.
Me: Because he tore it.
Nell: To see what was inside.
Me: It’s just fluff.
Nell: Sacrifices have to be made in the pursuance of the truth.
Me: That’s not a sacrifice. Dave is getting a new bed.
Nell: Yes. From Fifi la Beefy.
Me: I see. Sorry.