Me: Happy Christmas Nell. That hat really suits you.
Nell: Happy Christmas to you, too.
Me: Knitwear Wolf is looking impossibly handsome as always. And at least he managed to smile.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: You always look so serious. It’s Christmas.
Nell: I’ve got a lot on my mind.
Me: Is it the pandemic and missing family and friends? It’s just for now, Nell. Next Christmas we will all be together.
Nell: No. Somebody has eaten a large number of stuffing balls.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Poppy made a whole batch of them yesterday. But when I checked just now, half of them had gone.
Me: They look awfully like meatballs, don’t they?
Nell: Yes. Why?
Me: Nothing.
Nell: What do you know?
Me: It’s just that Dave had meatballs for breakfast. He said it was a lovely surprise.
Nell: David had meatballs for breakfast?
Me: Yes, with some leftover ham he found in the fridge.
Nell: Leftover ham? Are we talking about Poppy’s Christmas ham?
Me: Anyone can make a mistake, Nell. I don’t think he ate it all.
Nell: We need to find a sharp knife.
Me: Stop, Nell! My Big Brave Beautiful Boy doesn’t deserve to die.
Nell: What are you talking about? Nobody is going to die. This isn’t Game of Thrones.
Me: Thank goodness.
Nell: Poppy has gone for a morning walk with John the Doberman so we have a small window to fix this.
Me: How?
Nell: We will reshape the stuffing balls and pre slice the ham.
Me: Shall I do the carving?
Nell: Certainly not. Fetch Manuel. He has excellent knife skills.
Me: Christmas Day is even more exciting than I imagined.
Nell: Just go and get the octopus, please, and stay in the real world.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
