Minding Your Manners

Me: No early barking this morning. Has Harriet decided to ignore the neighbours’ cat?

Nell: Actually, The Cat had a word.

Me: With Harriet?

Nell: No. With the neighbours’ cat.

Me: Gosh. I’m surprised it worked. In my experience, cats never listen.

Nell: I agree. Cats don’t listen on principle.

Me: So, why did it, then?

Nell: I have no idea but I suspect smoked salmon was involved.

Me: Maybe it was me?

Nell: You?

Me: Yes. When I came back from the hairdressers it was sitting on the fence and I said ‘You are a very naughty cat’.

Nell: Did it run away?

Me: No. But I know it heard me.

Nell: Really?

Me: Yes. You see I didn’t say it in my normal voice, Nell. I used my best Talking Bowl voice.

Nell: Good grief. Cats don’t care about Talking Bowls. It’ll be back once it’s finished the salmon. Mark my paws.

Me: Did I see Dave with a bacon sandwich?

Nell: You did. There were so many messages of support for his handsome physique that he has decided to maintain it.

Me: That’s a relief. I expect Knitwear Wolf helped too.

Nell: Yes, David looks up to Rupert.

Me: Well, he is a big wolf, Nell. Even the larger animals show respect.

Nell: The larger animals are always respectful. Monty the Moose has the most delightful manners.

Me: It’s a Canadian thing.

Nell: And Olive the other Reindeer takes the time to chat even though this is a dreadfully busy time of year for her.

Me: She does.

Nell: It’s the smaller ones who need to mind their manners, if you ask me.

Me: Yes. Henry and Horst can sometimes get carried away.

Nell: Henry and Horst? I’m talking about the neighbours’ cat.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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