Me: No early barking this morning. Has Harriet decided to ignore the neighbours’ cat?
Nell: Actually, The Cat had a word.
Me: With Harriet?
Nell: No. With the neighbours’ cat.
Me: Gosh. I’m surprised it worked. In my experience, cats never listen.
Nell: I agree. Cats don’t listen on principle.
Me: So, why did it, then?
Nell: I have no idea but I suspect smoked salmon was involved.
Me: Maybe it was me?
Me: Yes. When I came back from the hairdressers it was sitting on the fence and I said ‘You are a very naughty cat’.
Nell: Did it run away?
Me: No. But I know it heard me.
Me: Yes. You see I didn’t say it in my normal voice, Nell. I used my best Talking Bowl voice.
Nell: Good grief. Cats don’t care about Talking Bowls. It’ll be back once it’s finished the salmon. Mark my paws.
Me: Did I see Dave with a bacon sandwich?
Nell: You did. There were so many messages of support for his handsome physique that he has decided to maintain it.
Me: That’s a relief. I expect Knitwear Wolf helped too.
Nell: Yes, David looks up to Rupert.
Me: Well, he is a big wolf, Nell. Even the larger animals show respect.
Nell: The larger animals are always respectful. Monty the Moose has the most delightful manners.
Me: It’s a Canadian thing.
Nell: And Olive the other Reindeer takes the time to chat even though this is a dreadfully busy time of year for her.
Me: She does.
Nell: It’s the smaller ones who need to mind their manners, if you ask me.
Me: Yes. Henry and Horst can sometimes get carried away.
Nell: Henry and Horst? I’m talking about the neighbours’ cat.
Me: Of course. Sorry.