Nell: What’s the matter with everyone?
Me: They’re on Pug Alert.
Nell: Pug Alert?
Me: Nigel went to the pub for a pint with Kev yesterday.
Nell: Is that relevant?
Me: Yes. Nigel and Kev were sitting outside enjoying a chat as usual when an angry pug came racing out and attacked Nigel.
Nell: Was Nigel doing anything untoward?
Me: No.
Nell: How rude.
Me: Yes. He wasn’t exactly best pleased and told the pug exactly what he thought of it in quite a forceful manner.
Nell: What did the pug do?
Me: It hid under the table until its owner came out and apologised.
Nell: Did Nigel accept the apology?
Me: In a way, but I don’t think they’re ever going to become friends.
Nell: It wasn’t Babycakes Gillespie, was it?
Me: Definitely not. I know Babycakes is a gangster pug from Plymouth but he’s retired now. We haven’t seen him for a while.
Nell: And Babycakes would never have attacked Nigel without reason.
Me: Or at all. Hopefully.
Nell: So, what are your plans for today?
Me: Sunday Songs, a walk in the countryside and a Salady Dinner.
Nell: A Salady Dinner? In October?
Me: We had a gammon for dinner last night so there’s a lot left over and it’s perfect with salad.
Nell: But it’s Sunday.
Me: It means the Hoffmanns get an evening off.
Nell: We’re having Roast Pork with crackling and apple sauce.
Me: Tasty.
Nell: Poppy wouldn’t dream of offering anyone salad on a Sunday.
Me: I know.
Nell: That pug was lucky Poppy wasn’t around when it attacked Nigel.
Me: Does she still carry a sword?
Nell: Yes, or a cutlass. It depends on her mood.
Me: I hope that pug isn’t at Sunday Songs.
Nell: It wouldn’t dare.
Me: No. Sorry.
