Me: Chloe sent me this video of you at hydrotherapy.
Nell: Did she indeed?
Me: Yes, she says you always have to face the front door.
Nell: Of course, I do. Kev is out there waiting for me in the car park.
Me: You old softy. Look how hard you are working those little legs.
Nell: Little legs? I don’t think you’re in any position to criticise the length of someone’s leg.
Me: I’m not criticising, Nell. I’m impressed. Chloe says you’re doing so well you only need to go once a month now.
Nell: That’s a relief. Walking for miles in a box full of water isn’t my favourite pastime. Now, I have something I would like to discuss with you.
Me: What have I done now?
Nell: Why did Harriet spend the night in your bedroom?
Me: Well, we’ve been having problems with Harriet recently so we thought it might help.
Nell: What problems?
Me: Early morning barking. She just doesn’t stop. We thought she might be feeling lonely.
Nell: Lonely? Harriet shares the living room with me and David. Nobody can be lonely with David around.
Me: Kev thought it was worth a try.
Nell: It didn’t work though, did it?
Me: No. You and Dave started barking early instead.
Nell: Yes, we did.
Me: Are you smiling, Nell?
Nell: Certainly not. Why are you saying that?
Me: I thought I saw a little smirk.
Nell: So, Harriet won’t be sleeping upstairs anymore then?
Me: Probably not.
Nell: It’s got nothing to do with loneliness, by the way. It’s next door’s cat. Wretched animal walks around our garden like it owns it. No self respecting Labrador is going to stay silent.
Me: You could have told me.
Nell: You could have asked. More tea?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
