Watching llamas

Me: What are those three doing?

Nell: Watching llamas I expect. Gladys is trying to teach them to be Dartmoor ponies.

Me: Why?

Nell: The larger animals were simply too large. Olive has antlers and Monty’s face is too moose like. At least the llamas have a touch of the pony about them.

Me: More camel than pony.

Nell: It’s for the pantomime. Snow Bite is lured onto Dartmoor by evil Mrs Snow. The Seven Woofs alert the good Ranger, Jim, and his trusty Junior Ranger, Ollie, who save her.

Me: What have the Dartmoor ponies got to do with it?

Nell: When the sheep start singing the ponies dance. Do keep up.

Me: Sheep aren’t very good at singing, Nell. They have surprisingly gruff voices.

Nell: Apart from Lady BaBa.

Me: Yes. She is an exception.

Nell: Don’t worry. They aren’t real sheep. The Welsh corgi choir are playing the sheep.

Me: In woolly jumpers?

Nell: No. In woolly jumpsuits if you must know. All I can say is, thank goodness Manuel can knit.

Me: Do you think the real sheep are going to be offended by the false sheep?

Nell: Good grief.

Me: You wouldn’t like it if a sheep put on a jumpsuit and pretended to be a Labrador.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Just saying.

Nell: The sheep are used to the Welsh corgi choir. They’ve been singing in their fields every Sunday for years.

Me: Not in disguise. Wait. I’ve just had a wonderful idea.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: What about a pantomime cow? Every pantomime has one.

Nell: Not this pantomime.

Me: Kev and I could play it.

Nell: Kev is our sound engineer and you are a Talking Bowl.

Me: But my part is recorded.

Nell: No cow.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

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