How presumptuous

Nell: You are not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: These Pirate Wars are getting completely out of paw.

Me: I think we’re all just having fun, Nell. We need to after the last few months.

Nell: Yes, well everyone is certainly joining in.

Me: I know. I saw PC Panda in a pirate’s hat having a quick scone with the larger animals.

Nell: He’s the least of our worries.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Zsa Zsa The Paw has a famous new gentleman friend. I met them when I was in town.

Me: She’s bound to have admirers.

Nell: He’s a little flamboyant to say the least.

Me: Surely not.

Nell: He makes The Cat look discreet.

Me: Hard to believe.

Nell: He blew me a kiss and called me ‘Fab-u-lous!’

Me: Well, you are.

Nell: I’m a mature lady Labrador.

Me: He sounds fun. I like him already.

Nell: Well, that’s fortunate because he’s invited himself to a pirate tea and he’s bringing his piano.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: I mean who does that?

Me: Does what?

Nell: Invites themselves to tea and brings a huge musical instrument with them? It’s presumptuous.

Me: Is he a cat?

Nell: Of course he’s not a cat. He’s an extremely famous dog.

Me: So he’s a celebrity?

Nell: Yes. His name is Laberace. You must have heard of him.

Me: Does he wear a high necked sparkling cloak and have dyed black hair?

Nell: Don’t be silly. He’s a curly haired Labradoodle.

Me: Oh,

Nell: He was wearing a feathered hat when I last saw him. What’s a high necked cloak anyway? That doesn’t even make sense.

Me: But he plays piano?

Nell: Yes. Rather well, actually.

Me: I can’t wait to meet him. Sorry.

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