Dave v Walter

Me: What on earth is Dave doing out there? He’s been staring at something for ages.

Nell: He’s playing Cheeky Animals with Walter.

Me: Walter Pigeon?

Nell: Yes, it’s not going to be your friend Walt, is it? He lives in Australia.

Me: Can pigeons even stick out their tongues?

Nell: They open their beaks. Walter is very skilled.

Me: How is Dave going to see him from there?

Nell: He can see. Don’t you worry. He has a keen eye.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. I do hope he wins.

Nell: It’s thirty all at the moment in the second set. Walter won the first one but David is fighting back. The first set went to a tie break so it could go either way.

Me: Thirty all? How many times do they have to play?

Nell: It depends. If it keeps going to deuce it can take ages.

Me: How many sets?

Nell: Just three.

Me: Don’t they ever get bored?

Nell: David has been known to wander off for a bacon sandwich, but he always shouts ‘Rain stops play’ so that’s alright.

Me: But what if it isn’t raining?

Nell: It doesn’t matter, it is simply what you say. Cricketers don’t always really stop for tea you know. Some have coffee.

Me: Gosh. I didn’t know. I’ve always imagined scones, finger sandwiches and pots of tea.

Nell: Yes, well you would.

Me: One of my favourite childhood games was ‘What’s the time Mr Wolf?’ So exciting trying to get near the wolf before it shouted ‘Dinner time.’ If Rupert agreed to play we could change it to ‘What’s the time Knitwear Wolf?’

Nell: I have never heard anything more inappropriate in my life. You’ll be pinning the tail on a llama next.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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