Me: What on earth are Poppy and Dave doing with Tony?
Nell: Playing ‘Weak Animal’.
Me: ‘Weak Animal’? What’s that?
Nell: We play it with you all the time.
Me: No, you don’t. I’ve never played ‘Weak Animal’ in my life.
Nell: When we lie down and lift a weak paw have you ever talked in a baby voice and stroked our tummies?
Me: I’ve done that.
Nell: Exactly. Do keep up.
Me: But Tony is behind the gate.
Nell: Yes, that’s why Poppy was helping. She was encouraging David to stretch his leg as high as he could without leaving the ground.
Me: Why?
Nell: You can only win ‘Weak Animal’ if you are stroked from a lying down position.
Me: Did he manage it?
Nell: Yes. Tony stretched too. He’s a good player.
Me: Has anyone ever lost ‘Weak Animal’?
Nell: Insects don’t do well. Llamas are excellent at it, of course.
Me: How are the llamas, by the way?
Nell: Fully recovered. Back in pyjamas with no hats, or a trace of a Welsh accent.
Me: That’s a relief. What about Sidney?
Nell: He’s back to his usual friendly self again but decided to stay on the Isle of Wight.
Me: Why?
Nell: He was looking for a new client base anyway and he enjoys the quiet.
Me: What does he do? Web design?
Nell: Don’t be silly. Sidney is a psychotherapist.
Me: I’m not sure I would go and see a spider.
Nell: Of course you wouldn’t. You’re not a troubled arachnid.
Me: But what if he turns bad again?
Nell: He’s not going to. The Hunter is imprisoned. Stop fussing.
Me: Do cats play ‘Weak Animal’?
Nell: Yes. But under a different name.
Me: What is it?
Nell: ‘Come here, Slave.’
Me: Of course. Sorry.
