Me: Are you able to talk?
Nell: Let me excuse myself for a moment.
Me: Ok. Can you talk now?
Nell: Yes. I’m not in London.
Me: We know.
Nell: Good, because I’m at Osborne House on the Isle of Wight. Lady Anwen told me The Queen was staying here.
Me: You know that isn’t true, don’t you?
Nell: Yes, I do. The wretched bacon has worn off completely now.
Me: Try not to worry. We were able to track you on Find My iBone and help is on its way.
Me: Rupert set off this morning on his motorbike with Henry and Horst. The others are following by helicopter and boat.
Nell: I don’t think there has to be a land, sea and air rescue.
Me: There does when it’s you, Nell. Absolutely everybody wants to help rescue you.
Nell: How kind.
Me: Joyce is coordinating from Devon, Sally from London and No Good Boyo from Wales.
Nell: But I’m on the Isle of Wight. You don’t need the whole of the UK involved.
Me: I don’t think Scotland and Northern Ireland are involved.
Nell: They still think I’m drugged but I’m not sure I can keep it up for much longer. I don’t understand a word they’re saying when they speak Welsh.
Me: Rupert should arrive today. His cover is that is he’s trying to win Myfanwy back.
Me: Once there, Henry will conceal himself with you and can report back to Horst who will stay with Rupert.
Nell: Thank goodness for Welsh speaking woodlice.
Me: Just don’t rock the boat as we need time to get to you and please wear a hat.
Nell: I’ll steer clear of boats but I refuse to wear a Welsh hat.
Me: You might have to. Sorry.