Me: What are you and Harriet doing?
Nell: We’re searching for bacon and Beefies.
Me: Bacon? You can’t be hungry again, Nell. You had poached eggs on toast for breakfast. Aren’t Beefies usually in the sky?
Nell: Not these undercover ones. They hide in the long grass trying to turn good animals bad.
Me: With bacon sandwiches?
Nell: Not always. It depends on the targeted animal.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: They would turn Princess with mackerel, and Malcolm with prawns.
Me: And PC Amanda Panda with scones?
Nell: A lot of people would turn for scones, to be fair. Only Poppy’s, though, obviously.
Me: What about me?
Nell: You’d do anything for a Magnum.
Me: I love ice cream. What happens then?
Nell: They say ‘dim ond anifeiliaid drwg sy’n cael cig moch.’
Me: What does that mean?
Nell: ‘Only bad animals get bacon.’
Me: That’s not true.
Nell: Then they hold the bacon out and say ‘wyt ti’n anifail drwg?’ Which means ‘Are you a bad animal?’
Me: Does anyone ever agree?
Nell: A lot of them do. It’s the combination of Welsh and bacon.
Me: Did you know that the Welsh for jellyfish is ‘Psygod Wibli Wobli‘ which literally translates as ‘wibbly wobbly fish’?
Nell: Nonsense. The Welsh word for jellyfish is ‘pysgod mor.‘
Me: Oh.
Nell: Anyway, stop distracting me. Harriet and I are determined to find one of those undercover Beefies.
Me: It sounds risky to me.
Nell: There is an element of risk but the poached eggs will help.
Me: Are you going to throw one then?
Nell: No, as you pointed out, our tummies are full.
Me: Labradors’ tummies are never full, Nell. You might need to ask Poppy to do this.
Nell: Harriet and I are perfectly capable.
Me: Ok. Sorry.
