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Amanda

Me: I wasn’t expecting him to be called Amanda.

Nell: Yes, it’s an unusual name for a Police Constable.

Me: It’s an unusual name for a male panda.

Nell: Is it, though? Amanda might be a very popular name amongst male pandas, for all we know.

Me: I suppose so, but Constable Amanda Panda? It’s not exactly intimidating, is it?

Nell: This is Devon, not Miami Spice.

Me: Vice.

Nell: Bless you.

Me: I see what you did there.

Nell: Anyway, that’s not the point. Don’t you want to know why he was here?

Me: It was the barking, wasn’t it? Is Harriet going to jail?

Nell: No, somebody reported Knitwear Wolf, Princess and Our Penguin.

Me: Why?

Nell: An illegal gathering of three and an unnecessary journey to the sea.

Me: But it wasn’t an unnecessary journey. Knitwear Wolf needs to deliver the papers and the other two need a daily swim.

Nell: Don’t worry, it’s all sorted.

Me: Even the illegal gathering?

Nell: When I explained they were all from one household, Amanda was happy to let it go. Also, pandas simply adore scones, and Poppy had just made some.

Me: But Knitwear Wolf doesn’t live here.

Nell: He does now. To be honest it makes it easier for everyone. Mutley is over the moon and Joyce can’t stop smiling.

Me: You seem quite happy about it, too.

Nell: Rupert is a comfort to have around. He is a loyal friend and a support to us all.

Me: I’m not sure Myfanwy is going to be very happy about this.

Nell: We think Myfanwy may have reported them in the first place, so I’m afraid she has herself to blame. You eat what you grow.

Me: Don’t you mean reap what you sow?

Nell: No.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

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