Me: What is Dave doing in the living room? He’s standing on the furniture.

Nell: Don’t worry. David is just trying to look Magnificent. It’s all this Handsome Hound nonsense.

Me: Well, he’s succeeding. He actually looks twice his normal size.

Nell: The Cat was telling him about stretching so he thought he would try it.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Look at his glossy coat.

Nell: I think it’s the bacon, myself, all our coats are glossy.

Me: I know what you’re trying to do there, Nell. But you can’t have bacon sandwiches every day.

Nell: I was doing nothing of the sort. A cup of weak tea and a small handful of biscuits is fine with me. I realise we are going through difficult times.

Me: I happen to know that you and Knitwear Wolf had poached eggs on toast together.

Nell: We maintained social distance but I needed to have a quiet word with him.

Me: Why?

Nell: I wanted to know what was going on in his mind when he decided to bring that singing seal back with him.

Me: Are you talking about Princess?

Nell: Of course I am. Don’t tell me there are more of them. My nerves couldn’t take it.

Me: What did Knitwear Wolf say?

Nell: He explained that it was easy for him to take Princess and Our Penguin down to the sea for a daily swim because he went down there to wave at Myfanwy every day anyway.

Me: He’s such a kind wolf and so well dressed.

Nell: Yes, although I prefer his winter collection. He looks better in a chunky knit.

Me: Look at you. Checking him out.

Nell: What are we now? Teenagers? I am doing nothing of the sort.

Me: Of course not. Sorry.

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