Nell: What on earth have you and David been up to?
Me: We were taking a few selfies in the sunshine but they kept on going wrong.
Nell: I can see that.
Me: Dave was trying to get my glasses because I couldn’t see, so I had to close one eye.
Nell: Where were your glasses?
Me: On my head which made us laugh. Then Dave stuck his tongue out.
Nell: Which made you laugh again?
Me: Yes, and then Dave had to close one eye.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: When I found my glasses Dave had gone, so Harriet gave me a kiss instead.
Nell: Well, don’t disturb David again, please. He has important work to do.
Me: More llamas in pyjamas?
Me: Surely not.
Nell: Our Penguin filmed a very heated argument.
Me: Not the larger beasts? Only Monty and Olive are finding Alejandro’s singing a little tiring. Moose and reindeer aren’t really used to alpacas.
Nell: No. Monty did mention on our WoofsApp group that there are only so many times one can listen to ‘Guantanamera’ but it wasn’t them.
Me: Not Henry and Horst? They are such peaceful woodlice.
Nell: No. They are a little concerned about their cousin Horace who was seen out when he shouldn’t have been, but they are fine otherwise.
Me: Who was it then?
Nell: Joyce and Myfanwy. Shouting at each other. Knitwear Wolf had to intervene.
Me: Yes, because if you count Our Penguin filming that makes three and you’re only allowed two. In fact if you count Knitwear Wolf it makes four.
Nell: They were keeping to the two metre rule. The question is, what were they shouting about?
Me: Don’t ask me.
Nell: I’m not asking you. It was a rhetorical question.
Me: Of course. Sorry.