Keeping us Safe

Me: How is my Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Nell: He is outside on his lounger Keeping us Safe.

Me: That’s quite a lot for a pup to do.

Nell: Firstly, David is not a pup. He will be 3 in June. Secondly, he is in need of Distraction.

Me: Aren’t we all?

Nell: Exactly. If there isn’t enough Distraction people tend to Dwell. And not on the good things.

Me: True.

Nell: David has been tasked with Watching and Waiting.

Me: That’s ever so hard, Nell. He finds it really difficult to wait for anything.

Nell: Harriet goes out to see him regularly with her notebook and they record what he has seen.

Me: Anything interesting yet?

Nell: Three Beefies wearing sombreros flouted the social distancing rules but dispersed after a warning bark.

Me: Seagulls in sombreros? An interesting choice of hat. Maybe because it’s sunny.

Nell: Just showing off I suspect. You know what they’re like.

Me: At least they weren’t throwing mackerel. Anything else?

Nell: A couple of llamas in pyjamas as usual.

Me: A lot of people can’t be bothered to get dressed at the moment.

Nell: Well, they should. They’ll feel much better if they do.

Me: Everyone needs a pyjama day now and again.

Nell: But not every day. Those llamas are becoming lazy. I may have to have a word.

Me: You’re not allowed, Nell. No groups of more than two except from the same family.

Nell: I have a carrying voice. If needed I shall call to them from the garden.

Me: What are you going to say? ‘Take those pyjamas off, you lazy llamas.’ What if they do? We can’t have naked llamas wandering around.

Nell: Naked llamas? Don’t be ridiculous. All llamas have coats. Do keep up.

Me: Oh yes. Sorry.

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