Waiting for post

Nell: I came downstairs this morning to find the kitchen full of corgis.

Me: Is that why Harriet keeps looking at the door?

Nell: No. She’s waiting for a message from Sally.

Me: But it’s Sunday, Nell. No post today.

Nell: Sally is sending a courier pigeon.

Me: Don’t you mean carrier pigeon?

Nell: No. It works for UPS. The Urgent Postal Service.

Me: Never mind. What’s so urgent anyway?

Nell: I don’t know.

Me: This weather is getting me down. Rain, rain, wind and rain.

Nell: Try being a corgi. Myfanwy says she hasn’t had a dry undercarriage in days.

Me: Excuse me?

Nell: Wading through puddles with short legs is not fun. The Dartmouth Dachshunds have cancelled all their performances.

Me: Maybe the Welsh corgi choir should do the same?

Nell: They won’t give up Sunday Songs. At least they know there’s a hot cup of tea and one of Poppy’s warm scones at the end of it.

Me: Did I see Joyce arrive earlier?

Nell: Yes. Mutley sent a Woofer to collect her.

Me: A Woofer?

Nell: Yes. It’s like a taxi. He uses them all the time.

Me: You mean Uber.

Nell: I do not. That’s a ridiculous name.

Me: How are the large animals coping in the barn?

Nell: Monty and Olive are accustomed to the cold but Alejandro is struggling.

Me: At least he has his thick alpaca coat.

Nell: Yes, but he’s a sunshine animal. He is used to a sombrero, not a sou’wester.

Me: I’m the same.

Nell: When did you last wear a sombrero? The mere idea.

Me: I meant I miss the sun.

Nell: Stop moaning and let that pigeon in. The urgent post is getting wet and it will be in need of a scone.

Me: Will do. Sorry.

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