Dave is not happy

Me: Dave doesn’t look happy.

Nell: That’s because he isn’t.

Me: His ears have gone flat. He’s lost his sparkle.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: He looks like a little boy with wet hair who has just been collected from swimming lessons and is feeling a bit cold and miserable.

Nell: For Goodness Sake.

Me: My poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: David is not sad. He is annoyed.

Me: But he’s never annoyed.

Nell: Well, he is today.

Me: What have I done?

Nell: It’s not you. It’s the Beefies.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: They’ve stolen the bacon.

Me: The villains.

Nell: And replaced it with mackerel.

Me: Shocking.

Nell: Imagine starting your day with a mackerel sandwich.

Me: There are worse things.

Nell: Not when you were expecting bacon.

Me: I suppose not. How did they get the bacon?

Nell: During yesterday’s ridiculously theatrical performance of ‘My Way’ a group of wild Beefies gained access to the kitchen. They knew we would all be at the beach.

Me: The rascals.

Nell: Yes. Timothy was found trussed up with an orange in his mouth.

Me: That’s appalling. He must be traumatised.

Nell: He is going to need a long time to get over it.

Me: Of course he is.

Nell: The Beefies took all the bacon and both sauces. Red and white.

Me: Outrageous.

Nell: They even took Poppy’s fresh white farmhouse bread and replaced it with a stale brown shop bought loaf.

Me: The cheek of it.

Nell: Pre-sliced.

Me: Dastardly.

Nell: Poppy only discovered it this morning when she went to make breakfast.

Me: Didn’t Timothy tell her?

Nell: Timothy has been lying down in a darkened room with a towel over his eyes. He can’t talk to anyone.

Me: Of course not. Sorry.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.