Me: Harriet looks concerned.
Nell: After Bacongate yesterday she has every right to be.
Me: True.
Nell: Well, you will be pleased to hear that Knitwear Wolf arrived this morning with more than just the newspapers.
Me: Was he wearing his dark red roll neck sweater?
Nell: No. He is in a forest green knitted suit today with a rather attractive wide brimmed hat, but that’s not the point.
Me: No.
Nell: He brought several packs of bacon from the farm shop and bottles of red and brown sauce
Me: How thoughtful.
Nell: Yes. Poppy has baked some fresh loaves of bread so it’s bacon sandwiches all round.
Me: Apart from the vegetarians.
Nell: Yes. Malcolm is whipping up an omelette as we speak.
Me: How is Timothy?
Nell: He managed a mug of sweet warm tea and a little toast.
Me: That’s a relief.
Nell: Unfortunately the Beefy problem continues however.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: I am so tired of their annoying screeching and fish breath and now we have Stephen Seagull’s newfound stardom to worry about.
Me: Stardom?
Nell: His clifftop version of ‘My Way’ is climbing up the charts on iChews.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: It could even be the Christmas Number One.
Me: That’s awful. We have to do something.
Nell: Don’t worry. Charlie had an excellent idea at Morning Thoughts.
Me: Tell me.
Nell: You know your Robin Woof song?
Me: You mean the one you criticised?
Nell: Whatever. David and the cast are going to perform it with the Welsh corgi choir.
Me: That’s amazing.
Nell: So everyone needs to be on the beach in full costume by 12 o’clock sharp.
Me: But I don’t have a costume.
Nell: Of course you don’t. You’re the writer. Just bring your pen and notebook.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
