Charlie has a good idea

Me: Harriet looks concerned.

Nell: After Bacongate yesterday she has every right to be.

Me: True.

Nell: Well, you will be pleased to hear that Knitwear Wolf arrived this morning with more than just the newspapers.

Me: Was he wearing his dark red roll neck sweater?

Nell: No. He is in a forest green knitted suit today with a rather attractive wide brimmed hat, but that’s not the point.

Me: No.

Nell: He brought several packs of bacon from the farm shop and bottles of red and brown sauce

Me: How thoughtful.

Nell: Yes. Poppy has baked some fresh loaves of bread so it’s bacon sandwiches all round.

Me: Apart from the vegetarians.

Nell: Yes. Malcolm is whipping up an omelette as we speak.

Me: How is Timothy?

Nell: He managed a mug of sweet warm tea and a little toast.

Me: That’s a relief.

Nell: Unfortunately the Beefy problem continues however.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: I am so tired of their annoying screeching and fish breath and now we have Stephen Seagull’s newfound stardom to worry about.

Me: Stardom?

Nell: His clifftop version of ‘My Way’ is climbing up the charts on iChews.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: It could even be the Christmas Number One.

Me: That’s awful. We have to do something.

Nell: Don’t worry. Charlie had an excellent idea at Morning Thoughts.

Me: Tell me.

Nell: You know your Robin Woof song?

Me: You mean the one you criticised?

Nell: Whatever. David and the cast are going to perform it with the Welsh corgi choir.

Me: That’s amazing.

Nell: So everyone needs to be on the beach in full costume by 12 o’clock sharp.

Me: But I don’t have a costume.

Nell: Of course you don’t. You’re the writer. Just bring your pen and notebook.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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