Naughty Nigel does it again

Nell: So you arrived in Buckinghamshire safely?

Me: Yes. There were a few delays in London but I got here.

Nell: Naughty Nigel is looking distinctly guilty.

Me: I’m afraid he has been a little bit naughty.

Nell: If you’re going to call an animal Naughty Nigel then you can only blame yourself if he misbehaves.

Me: True.

Nell: So what did he do?

Me: He stole a penguin and ate the polar bear’s tail.

Nell: I sincerely hope you are referring to Christmas tree decorations.

Me: Naughty Nigel has apologised and will try not to do it again.

Nell: Good luck with that.

Me: How’s everyone at home?

Nell: We are coping. Although David only ate two scones for tea with jam, but no cream.

Me: No cream? My poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He bounced back at dinner time.

Me: What did you have?

Nell: A takeaway.

Me: MuttDonalds?

Nell: No. Pizza Mutt. We decided on a movie night.

Me: What did you watch?

Nell: Peter Rabbit. Personally I think it was a little far fetched.

Me: Because of the talking animals?

Nell: No. The wild behaviour. If that young rabbit was living with me I’d soon teach him some manners.

Me: I’m sure you would. How are the auditions going?

Nell: Rumour has it that Knitwear Wolf is interested in playing the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Me: I’m not sure the Sheriff of Nottingham would wear a cardigan.

Nell: James Bond did. Several times.

Me: Not recently.

Nell: Still.

Me: I don’t really see Knitwear Wolf as a baddie.

Nell: If you looked at Naughty Nigel you wouldn’t think that either.

Me: I know. Bless him. Butter wouldn’t melt.

Nell: Why are we talking about butter? The naughty animal ate a polar bear’s tail.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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