Nell: So you arrived in Buckinghamshire safely?
Me: Yes. There were a few delays in London but I got here.
Nell: Naughty Nigel is looking distinctly guilty.
Me: I’m afraid he has been a little bit naughty.
Nell: If you’re going to call an animal Naughty Nigel then you can only blame yourself if he misbehaves.
Me: True.
Nell: So what did he do?
Me: He stole a penguin and ate the polar bear’s tail.
Nell: I sincerely hope you are referring to Christmas tree decorations.
Me: Naughty Nigel has apologised and will try not to do it again.
Nell: Good luck with that.
Me: How’s everyone at home?
Nell: We are coping. Although David only ate two scones for tea with jam, but no cream.
Me: No cream? My poor Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: He bounced back at dinner time.
Me: What did you have?
Nell: A takeaway.
Me: MuttDonalds?
Nell: No. Pizza Mutt. We decided on a movie night.
Me: What did you watch?
Nell: Peter Rabbit. Personally I think it was a little far fetched.
Me: Because of the talking animals?
Nell: No. The wild behaviour. If that young rabbit was living with me I’d soon teach him some manners.
Me: I’m sure you would. How are the auditions going?
Nell: Rumour has it that Knitwear Wolf is interested in playing the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Me: I’m not sure the Sheriff of Nottingham would wear a cardigan.
Nell: James Bond did. Several times.
Me: Not recently.
Nell: Still.
Me: I don’t really see Knitwear Wolf as a baddie.
Nell: If you looked at Naughty Nigel you wouldn’t think that either.
Me: I know. Bless him. Butter wouldn’t melt.
Nell: Why are we talking about butter? The naughty animal ate a polar bear’s tail.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
