Nell: Do you want the rest of that toast?
Me: Yes, thank you.
Nell: I was just Keeping an Eye. I’ve had rather a trying morning.
Me: Why?
Nell: Let’s just say, don’t be surprised if you open the door and find a k…
Me: Kangaroo?
Nell: Don’t be silly.
Me: A Komodo dragon?
Nell: What on earth would they be doing in Devon?
Me: Stranger things have happened.
Nell: Where was I?
Me: Is it a King Penguin?
Nell: Now you’re being ridiculous. Everyone knows King Penguins have excellent manners and would never arrive unannounced.
Me: So what will I find?
Nell: A kilted corgi.
Me: Is that all?
Nell: Yes. His name is Hamish and he’s lost his sporran.
Me: Isn’t he in danger of losing his kilt as well?
Nell: No. A sporran doesn’t hold up a kilt, it is like a pouch, or a pocket. Somewhere you can keep your things.
Me: I suppose it is.
Nell: Anyway, Hamish is very distressed. All his worldly goods were in that sporran.
Me: We can’t just leave him outside, Nell. All lost and sporranless.
Nell: Fortunately Knitwear Wolf arrived with the papers so he’s taken Hamish with him on his motorbike to search for it.
Me: I suspect the Beefies.
Nell: Yes, it certainly sounds likely.
Me: Is Hamish related to the Welsh corgi choir then?
Nell: Of course not. Do you think I am related to that rude Golden Labrador who shouts at cyclists near the quay?
Me: No.
Nell: Well then. Hamish is here on holiday. I’ve invited him to tea.
Me: I’m sure Poppy has some shortbread.
Nell: We will be having a selection of finger sandwiches with the crusts off, followed by scones, jam and cream. We have standards to maintain.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
