A trying morning

Nell: Do you want the rest of that toast?

Me: Yes, thank you.

Nell: I was just Keeping an Eye. I’ve had rather a trying morning.

Me: Why?

Nell: Let’s just say, don’t be surprised if you open the door and find a k…

Me: Kangaroo?

Nell: Don’t be silly.

Me: A Komodo dragon?

Nell: What on earth would they be doing in Devon?

Me: Stranger things have happened.

Nell: Where was I?

Me: Is it a King Penguin?

Nell: Now you’re being ridiculous. Everyone knows King Penguins have excellent manners and would never arrive unannounced.

Me: So what will I find?

Nell: A kilted corgi.

Me: Is that all?

Nell: Yes. His name is Hamish and he’s lost his sporran.

Me: Isn’t he in danger of losing his kilt as well?

Nell: No. A sporran doesn’t hold up a kilt, it is like a pouch, or a pocket. Somewhere you can keep your things.

Me: I suppose it is.

Nell: Anyway, Hamish is very distressed. All his worldly goods were in that sporran.

Me: We can’t just leave him outside, Nell. All lost and sporranless.

Nell: Fortunately Knitwear Wolf arrived with the papers so he’s taken Hamish with him on his motorbike to search for it.

Me: I suspect the Beefies.

Nell: Yes, it certainly sounds likely.

Me: Is Hamish related to the Welsh corgi choir then?

Nell: Of course not. Do you think I am related to that rude Golden Labrador who shouts at cyclists near the quay?

Me: No.

Nell: Well then. Hamish is here on holiday. I’ve invited him to tea.

Me: I’m sure Poppy has some shortbread.

Nell: We will be having a selection of finger sandwiches with the crusts off, followed by scones, jam and cream. We have standards to maintain.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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