The day of the wedding

Nell: Are Susan and Malcolm wearing their crowns?

Me: Yes, but isn’t it a bit early?

Nell: They need to get used to them. Malcolm hasn’t seen Susan today I hope?

Me: No. Harriet sent over a photo. Susan and the bridesmaids are all having a quick coffee at Starbarks down by the quay.

Nell: Decaff I hope. We don’t want jittery bridesmaids. The idea of Gladys with a double espresso inside her doesn’t bear thinking about.

Me: I’m a bit worried about Malcolm. He keeps bowing at everyone.

Nell: He does that when he’s nervous. Just ignore him. Poppy is making him a camomile tea and a prawn cocktail.

Me: I’m surprised Dave’s top hat doesn’t have sequins on it.

Nell: It’s his pre-wedding hat. You don’t think The Cat would let him wear the real one yet, do you? Now, if an Irish Wolfhound knocks at the door send him straight through.

Me: Security?

Nell: No, he’s a photographer from The Growl on Sunday. They are covering the wedding.

Me: I’m glad it’s stopped raining.

Nell: Ron Gilbert and the Australian cattle dogs have erected a marquee on the beach just to be on the safe side. Is that my iBone?

Me: Yes. It’s another text from Harriet.

Nell: Stephen Seagull has just flown in and he’s brought Romeo with him. That’s all we need. Typical Beefy tactics.

Me: What if Susan changes her mind and flies off with Romeo? He’s a seagull too and she’s always admired his long black hair.

Nell: What’s the matter with you? Susan is devoted to Malcolm. Still, I’d better call for back-up.

Me: The Royal Owl Force?

Nell: No. The Whippets Institute. Muriel and the girls are not going to let anyone spoil this wedding.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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