Nell: When were you going to tell us?
Me: Tell you what?
Nell: David has made a shocking discovery in the garden.
Me: What did he find?
Nell: Outside beds in a poor condition with no cushions. Soiled by a very small Beefy, or some other bird, and covered in leaves.
Me: Oh those. We moved them into a corner while the roofers were here.
Nell: We are inside dogs, not wild animals. We have the right to soft beds and a warm blanket.
Me: I know.
Nell: David is aware of his shortcomings but it was only half a bacon sandwich. Certainly not enough to be banished to a hard, dirty bed in the wind and rain.
Me: There isn’t any wind and rain at the moment.
Nell: That is not the point.
Me: Nobody is being banished, Nell. We were going to clean them up and put soft cushions in them like garden furniture.
Nell: I see. David will be relieved. Although I can’t see him giving up his lounger.
Me: Has Sally been in touch?
Nell: Yes. She is planning to come down here for a few days. She and Charlie have been on the iBone for ages. Something about ice cream.
Me: Ice cream?
Nell: Poppy said she saw Gelato Spinone in Kingsbridge so I expect he’s behind it. Probably thinking of selling it over here.
Me: Who is Gelato Spinone?
Nell: The king of Italian ice cream. Come on, you must have heard of him. We have Mr Whippy and they have Gelato.
Me: Never heard of him.
Nell: He is quite a character. A bit hairy for my liking with a rough beard and long nose.
Me: Oh. Not a dog then?
Nell: Of course he’s a dog. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.