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A shocking discovery

Nell: When were you going to tell us?

Me: Tell you what?

Nell: David has made a shocking discovery in the garden.

Me: What did he find?

Nell: Outside beds in a poor condition with no cushions. Soiled by a very small Beefy, or some other bird, and covered in leaves.

Me: Oh those. We moved them into a corner while the roofers were here.

Nell: We are inside dogs, not wild animals. We have the right to soft beds and a warm blanket.

Me: I know.

Nell: David is aware of his shortcomings but it was only half a bacon sandwich. Certainly not enough to be banished to a hard, dirty bed in the wind and rain.

Me: There isn’t any wind and rain at the moment.

Nell: That is not the point.

Me: Nobody is being banished, Nell. We were going to clean them up and put soft cushions in them like garden furniture.

Nell: I see. David will be relieved. Although I can’t see him giving up his lounger.

Me: Has Sally been in touch?

Nell: Yes. She is planning to come down here for a few days. She and Charlie have been on the iBone for ages. Something about ice cream.

Me: Ice cream?

Nell: Poppy said she saw Gelato Spinone in Kingsbridge so I expect he’s behind it. Probably thinking of selling it over here.

Me: Who is Gelato Spinone?

Nell: The king of Italian ice cream. Come on, you must have heard of him. We have Mr Whippy and they have Gelato.

Me: Never heard of him.

Nell: He is quite a character. A bit hairy for my liking with a rough beard and long nose.

Me: Oh. Not a dog then?

Nell: Of course he’s a dog. Do keep up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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