Me: What’s the matter with Harriet?
Nell: She and Jim the Farm Dog had an argument.
Me: What about?
Nell: Fish.
Me: Fish?
Nell: Can you stop repeating everything I say please? It drives me mad.
Me: I didn’t know Harriet liked fish.
Nell: She does now. She is even thinking of becoming a pescatarian and giving up meat.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: David nearly fainted when he heard. The mere idea of no bacon sandwiches, or steak with Kev on a Saturday is more than he can bear.
Me: At least she isn’t going vegan.
Nell: Not yet, although nothing would surprise me. I blame The Cat.
Me: Why?
Nell: It’s always salmon this and mackerel that. Malcolm is the same. It’s prawn everything with that flamingo. Every time I go into the kitchen he is munching on a shell.
Me: He has to maintain his pinkness for the wedding. So Jim is unhappy?
Nell: Yes. He says a dog cannot live without a bone.
Me: But fish bones are dangerous.
Nell: Exactly. One of the Welsh corgis had a dreadful experience with a freshly caught sea bass.
Me: Did it jump back into the sea?
Nell: I hope not. It had been grilled and served with new potatoes and a wedge of lemon.
Me: Delicious.
Nell: Not when a bone got stuck in her throat.
Me: You have to be very careful when eating fish.
Nell: Quite, which is why Jim and David don’t like it.
Me: Why can’t everyone just eat what they like? I love fish but Kev isn’t fussed.
Nell: It will all be over by dinner anyway, Poppy is cooking roast chicken and nobody can resist that.
Me: Cod for her. Sea what I did there?
Nell: Stop.
Me: Salmon had to say it.
Nell: Enough.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
