It’s all about the fish

Me: What’s the matter with Harriet?

Nell: She and Jim the Farm Dog had an argument.

Me: What about?

Nell: Fish.

Me: Fish?

Nell: Can you stop repeating everything I say please? It drives me mad.

Me: I didn’t know Harriet liked fish.

Nell: She does now. She is even thinking of becoming a pescatarian and giving up meat.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: David nearly fainted when he heard. The mere idea of no bacon sandwiches, or steak with Kev on a Saturday is more than he can bear.

Me: At least she isn’t going vegan.

Nell: Not yet, although nothing would surprise me. I blame The Cat.

Me: Why?

Nell: It’s always salmon this and mackerel that. Malcolm is the same. It’s prawn everything with that flamingo. Every time I go into the kitchen he is munching on a shell.

Me: He has to maintain his pinkness for the wedding. So Jim is unhappy?

Nell: Yes. He says a dog cannot live without a bone.

Me: But fish bones are dangerous.

Nell: Exactly. One of the Welsh corgis had a dreadful experience with a freshly caught sea bass.

Me: Did it jump back into the sea?

Nell: I hope not. It had been grilled and served with new potatoes and a wedge of lemon.

Me: Delicious.

Nell: Not when a bone got stuck in her throat.

Me: You have to be very careful when eating fish.

Nell: Quite, which is why Jim and David don’t like it.

Me: Why can’t everyone just eat what they like? I love fish but Kev isn’t fussed.

Nell: It will all be over by dinner anyway, Poppy is cooking roast chicken and nobody can resist that.

Me: Cod for her. Sea what I did there?

Nell: Stop.

Me: Salmon had to say it.

Nell: Enough.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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