Dave makes another mistake

Me: What’s the matter with Dave?

Nell: The Cat says David has grown again and he won’t fit into his sequinned waistcoat.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And Poppy has taken him off deliveries because he ate the last batch of scones by mistake.

Me: I didn’t know Poppy did deliveries.

Nell: It’s her latest idea. On warm days it’s lovely to enjoy a scone on the beach.

Me: Yes, it is. One in the eye for the Beefies too.

Nell: There is no need for violence.

Me: It’s just a phrase.

Nell: So the idea was that David has a bicycle and trailer with a cool box for the jam and cream. He parks at the beach and distributes scones.

Me: But it didn’t work?

Nell: No. He said business was slow so he thought eating a few would encourage people. Unfortunately it didn’t stop at a few.

Me: No wonder his waistcoat doesn’t fit.

Nell: Gladys wanted to take it on but her paws don’t reach the peddles.

Me: And the hills would be too much.

Nell: Exactly. Anyway, Malcolm suggested Count Bingo might help. He is an exceptionally tall and strong flamingo.

Me: Can flamingos ride bicycles?

Nell: Of course. Malcolm cycles into Kingsbridge most days to meet Susan. Why do you think he leaves wearing a helmet?

Me: I thought it was a fashion statement.

Nell: I despair of you sometimes. I really do. Gladys will ride with Count Bingo and on slow days they can perform a contemporary dance.

Me: That should drum up interest.

Nell: There will be no need for percussion.

Me: I’m not surprised Dave is feeling a little put out. Poor darling boy. No waistcoat, no scones, no dancing.

Nell: Do stop. He’s just had bacon sandwiches with the roofers and The Cat is making him a new waistcoat.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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