Me: What’s the matter with Dave?
Nell: The Cat says David has grown again and he won’t fit into his sequinned waistcoat.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: And Poppy has taken him off deliveries because he ate the last batch of scones by mistake.
Me: I didn’t know Poppy did deliveries.
Nell: It’s her latest idea. On warm days it’s lovely to enjoy a scone on the beach.
Me: Yes, it is. One in the eye for the Beefies too.
Nell: There is no need for violence.
Me: It’s just a phrase.
Nell: So the idea was that David has a bicycle and trailer with a cool box for the jam and cream. He parks at the beach and distributes scones.
Me: But it didn’t work?
Nell: No. He said business was slow so he thought eating a few would encourage people. Unfortunately it didn’t stop at a few.
Me: No wonder his waistcoat doesn’t fit.
Nell: Gladys wanted to take it on but her paws don’t reach the peddles.
Me: And the hills would be too much.
Nell: Exactly. Anyway, Malcolm suggested Count Bingo might help. He is an exceptionally tall and strong flamingo.
Me: Can flamingos ride bicycles?
Nell: Of course. Malcolm cycles into Kingsbridge most days to meet Susan. Why do you think he leaves wearing a helmet?
Me: I thought it was a fashion statement.
Nell: I despair of you sometimes. I really do. Gladys will ride with Count Bingo and on slow days they can perform a contemporary dance.
Me: That should drum up interest.
Nell: There will be no need for percussion.
Me: I’m not surprised Dave is feeling a little put out. Poor darling boy. No waistcoat, no scones, no dancing.
Nell: Do stop. He’s just had bacon sandwiches with the roofers and The Cat is making him a new waistcoat.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
