Me: Looking good.
Nell: The trick is to keep your eyes closed and wear a brimmed hat. David and I are taking no chances.
Me: Too much sun?
Nell: No. We are avoiding Sven Gully. Have you spoken to Poppy recently?
Nell: Don’t bother unless you speak Swedish.
Me: Not Poppy too?
Nell: Oh yes. She went over to the Big House to sort things out and never came home.
Nell: No. Last seen lounging in a deckchair in Torquay eating shop bought scones with Ron Gilbert the Great Dane.
Me: Shop bought scones? In Torquay? With Ron Gilbert?
Nell: Do stop repeating everything I say.
Me: But it’s so unlike her.
Nell: I just contacted Poppy on WoofsApp asking her politely about dinner tonight and received this reply. Look.
Me: ‘Laga det själv‘? I don’t know what that means.
Nell: Apparently it means ‘Cook it yourself’. The Cat might have lost its fashion sense but fortunately it speaks Swedish at the moment so it translated it for me.
Me: But Poppy doesn’t let anyone else cook, except Malcolm, and she always organises dinner.
Nell: Malcolm is confined to the kitchen for the time being and is wearing dark glasses and a sombrero. We cannot risk him falling under Sven’s spell too.
Me: Do you think he’s a magician then?
Nell: No. He’s a hypnotist. Mutley and I looked him up on Poodle. He’s performing in Kingsbridge tomorrow down at the quay.
Me: Is he really Swedish?
Nell: Yes, and there’s more.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: He is Stephen Seagull’s Swedish cousin.
Me: Stephen Seagull, the head of the evil Beefies and the biological father of Malcolm’s sweetheart Susan? That Stephen Seagull?
Nell: Of course, how many of them do you think there are? Do keep up. And put a hat on.
Me: Yes. Sorry.