Shop bought scones?

Me: Looking good.

Nell: The trick is to keep your eyes closed and wear a brimmed hat. David and I are taking no chances.

Me: Too much sun?

Nell: No. We are avoiding Sven Gully. Have you spoken to Poppy recently?

Me: No.

Nell: Don’t bother unless you speak Swedish.

Me: Not Poppy too?

Nell: Oh yes. She went over to the Big House to sort things out and never came home.

Me: Kidnapped?

Nell: No. Last seen lounging in a deckchair in Torquay eating shop bought scones with Ron Gilbert the Great Dane.

Me: Shop bought scones? In Torquay? With Ron Gilbert?

Nell: Do stop repeating everything I say.

Me: But it’s so unlike her.

Nell: I just contacted Poppy on WoofsApp asking her politely about dinner tonight and received this reply. Look.

Me: ‘Laga det själv‘? I don’t know what that means.

Nell: Apparently it means ‘Cook it yourself’. The Cat might have lost its fashion sense but fortunately it speaks Swedish at the moment so it translated it for me.

Me: But Poppy doesn’t let anyone else cook, except Malcolm, and she always organises dinner.

Nell: Malcolm is confined to the kitchen for the time being and is wearing dark glasses and a sombrero. We cannot risk him falling under Sven’s spell too.

Me: Do you think he’s a magician then?

Nell: No. He’s a hypnotist. Mutley and I looked him up on Poodle. He’s performing in Kingsbridge tomorrow down at the quay.

Me: Is he really Swedish?

Nell: Yes, and there’s more.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: He is Stephen Seagull’s Swedish cousin.

Me: Stephen Seagull, the head of the evil Beefies and the biological father of Malcolm’s sweetheart Susan? That Stephen Seagull?

Nell: Of course, how many of them do you think there are? Do keep up. And put a hat on.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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