Knitting needles at dawn

Nell: The Daily Growl are interviewing David this afternoon so he is practising his film star face.

Me: Why?

Nell: They have heard about the reprise of his West Side Story performance as Bernardo.

Me: Heartthrob David Martin. Wasn’t that the headline last time?

Nell: Exactly. In the meantime we have other more pressing issues to deal with. Those wretched Beefies have started pelting the cast with sticks and mackerel.

Me: How rude.

Nell: There has also been a major falling out between the Welsh corgi choir and the Whippets Institute.

Me: Oh no.

Nell: Apparently the Welsh corgis were desperate to join Gladys and the chihuahuas in their performance of ‘America’ but they couldn’t negotiate the scaffolding.

Me: Well, they only have little legs.

Nell: Then the Whippets Institute arrived in their mini bus and leapt up the scaffolding like a herd of mountain goats.

Me: They do have long slim legs.

Nell: So while the WI frolicked on the scaffolding in swirly skirts the corgis were left skirtless on the ground.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Fortunately Harriet arrived with fresh balls of wool for their knitting and asked if they would accompany her, Susan and the sweet natured seagulls on their rendition of ‘I Feel Pretty’.

Me: Well done, Harriet.

Nell: It was touch and go for a while.

Me: Knitting needles at dawn, eh?

Nell: Do not mock. Feelings run deep and a disappointed corgi is not to be underestimated.

Me: When is the performance?

Nell: Saturday. All proceeds are going towards the new roof.

Me: I can’t wait.

Nell: Please tell me David isn’t throwing chihuahuas off the scaffolding into my handbag.

Me: Only from the lower part. He’s up to four now.

Nell: I need a cup of Earl Grey and an early scone.

Me: Yes. Sorry.