Last day on the beach

Me: Great action shot of Kev about to throw your ball.

Nell: Yes. It’s our last day on the beach today. No dogs from 1st May until 1st October. It’s a disgrace.

Me: Are you going to campaign again? It seems very harsh to ban you all.

Nell: Yes. I was talking to No Good Boyo last night and he is willing to lead the Welsh campaign.

Me: I’m sure the Welsh corgi choir will support him.

Nell: Yes. Those girls are always up for a song. They’ve knitted a beautiful blanket for Meghan and Harry’s baby. I’ve promised to take it with me the next time I visit.

Me: The baby must be due any day now.

Nell: I couldn’t possibly say. My lips are sealed.

Me: Do you have campaigners in Scotland?

Nell: We have Sir Andy Furry, of course.

Me: You mean Murray.

Nell: No, I mean Furry the Scottish deerhound. He plays a little tennis but fishing is his passion. J.K. Howling is supporting us too.

Me: The author?

Nell: The Shetland sheepdog. I believe she has written a few books which have sold rather well.

Me: You can say that again.

Nell: I’d prefer not to repeat myself. Then there is Ban Morrison in Northern Ireland.

Me: The singer?

Nell: No. The soft coated Wheaten Terrier, although he does like to sing now you mention it. I’m not sure it’s his real name to be honest but he is dedicated to the cause.

Me: You have quite a team already.

Nell: Is David up on the roof singing ‘Our House’?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Wearing a bowler hat and carrying a handbag?

Me: Yes.

Nell: While Gladys performs a contemporary dance on the scaffolding to rapturous applause from the roofers?

Me: I’m afraid so. Sorry.

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