Over familiar

Nell: David is getting over familiar with our guests.

Me: Charlotte doesn’t mind.

Nell: Call me old fashioned but I feel you cannot simply take it upon yourself to kiss someone uninvited.

Me: Dave has a lot of love to give.

Nell: Yes. He did the same to your little sister Alex, you know.

Me: Yes. The delivery guys are used to it now. I hear them saying ‘Hello, Dave’.

Nell: So where are the scaffolding people then? I’ve been wearing a hard hat and boots for hours now and no sign of them.

Me: I forgot to tell you they aren’t coming until Monday because the roofers don’t start until Tuesday.

Nell: You could have told us. I was supposed to be hosting a book club tea but cancelled because I knew hard hats would play havoc with the girls’ hair.

Me: I thought most of them were short haired.

Nell: Yes, but we have the odd poodle and Lesley the Lapsang Souchong, of course.

Me: Don’t you mean Llhasa Apso?

Nell: Do I? Anyway, what are your plans today?

Me: I’m hoping the rain will stop and we can go to the beach.

Nell: Watch out for Beefies. The one in the black wig is back. Rude creature. It threw a mackerel at Poppy.

Me: Big mistake.

Nell: She was wearing her hard hat so it bounced off but I am afraid she saw red and got her catapult.

Me: Rock cakes?

Nell: Stale scones spread with strawberry jam.

Me: Clever.

Nell: Yes. Beefies hate jam.

Me: All jam, or just strawberry?

Nell: That’s not the point. It’s the stickiness of it, not the taste. You don’t notice your sleeve in the jam and then lick it and say ‘Oh, thank goodness it’s raspberry’, do you? Good grief.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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