Highly confidential

Nell: Can you spot the Labrador?

Me: Of course I can. It’s Harriet in the back garden.

Nell: Would you say Harriet is able to blend into the background?

Me: She’s not a wallflower, Nell.

Nell: No, but does she stand out?

Me: Why are we criticising Harriet?

Nell: We’re not. I am just trying to come to terms with something Sally and Charlie have told me.

Me: I don’t think it was Harriet who stole the welcome home shortbread fingers yesterday.

Nell: No. It was David helped by Gladys. He had shortbread behind his ears and said they were pencils.

Me: I know. Gladys tried to pretend hers was a cigar.

Nell: A ridiculous idea because everyone knows Pomeranians hate cigars.

Me: Those two always get caught.

Nell: Exactly. If Harriet had secretly wanted the shortbread, however, she would have taken it and we would have been none the wiser.

Me: She would have asked first.

Nell: That’s not the point. Now, I am going to tell you something highly confidential and you have to promise to keep it to to yourself for the time being.

Me: That’s not a promise I can make, Nell.

Nell: Apart from the writing. Nobody believes half the stuff you come up with.

Me: I think you will find they do.

Nell: Anyway, apparently Harriet has asked to be considered for MI5.

Me: What? Our little Harriet wants to be a spy? Our beautiful chocolate girl will be known as “Bond, Harriet Bond”.

Nell: Do stop. We’ve known for some time that there is way more to Harriet than meets the eye. Charlie says she is ideal for the job. Brave, intelligent and discreet.

Me: So that’s what she’s been doing with Sally?

Nell: Yes. She will be given a task and, if she is successful, her training will commence.

Me: What is the task?

Nell: I wouldn’t tell you if I knew. Discreet is not your middle name.

Me: Will she be putting her life in danger? Parachuting into enemy territory, or skiing dangerously fast down a mountain?

Nell: This is Devon in the Spring and we don’t have any mountains. Please try and be a little realistic.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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