Ready and waiting

Me: Dave looks awfully alert. Why is Mutley in Poppy’s palace?

Nell: He is having a break and David is keeping watch. He is very protective of Mutley. To be honest it can be a bit much and Mutley might well be hiding from him.

Me: It sounded like Charlie was amazing during negotiations yesterday. Calm but firm.

Nell: Yes. Even when Stephen Seagull threw a scone at him. He just caught the scone and said, “How kind. Pass me the jam and cream would you, old chap?”

Me: I wish I’d been there.

Nell: I’m not sure Humphrey is going to be able to keep his temper. He is such a stickler for good manners and that dreadful seagull simply doesn’t have any. He didn’t use his napkin once. How can you take someone seriously with jam on their beak?

Me: Yes. How uncouth. Have you made any progress?

Nell: Yes. We have suggested that Susan and Malcolm should be allowed to state their case and this has been accepted.

Me: Won’t that be awfully scary for them both?

Nell: They are willing. Shyness does not equal cowardice you know. However The Cat is making them sequinned bulletproof vests just in case.

Me: Are there guns then?

Nell: Of course, and sharp beaks. They will enter the independent man cave at 1500 hours with an owl escort and flanked by flamingos.

Me: Gosh. It’s going to be awfully full in there.

Nell: Count Bingo will have his net in place in case of outside attacks.

Me: His net?

Nell: For catching Beefies. Do keep up.

Me: I see. Silly me.

Nell: Fresh rock cakes have been made and dipped in Marmite. We are poised and ready.

Me: In Marmite? Why?

Nell: David hates it. Everyone knows that.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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