Me: Dave seems awfully tired.
Nell: Yes. He did the night shift with Jim the Farm Dog. Charlie has drawn up a roster with Harriet. We need to be vigilant. There are Beefies everywhere.
Me: Why is Malcolm wearing a colander on his head?
Nell: We ordered some helmets online from Ham and Bone but they haven’t arrived yet so we are making do. It should have been next day delivery as we are Prime members.
Me: They are usually so reliable.
Nell: Yes. In the meantime Poppy is wearing a small saucepan.
Nell: Beefies drop things. Nasty things. I would advise a hard hat if you are going out. The Cat found a mackerel on the top of its feathered Fedora so it has to be thrown away.
Me: The mackerel?
Nell: No, the Fedora. The mackerel was fresh but once you’ve got fish in your feathers you can’t get rid of the smell.
Me: Quite. How are Malcolm and Susan?
Nell: I’m afraid there was a slight falling out. Malcolm feels Susan might have mentioned that her father was the evil boss of a wicked gang of seagulls.
Me: He has a point.
Nell: Susan says Stephen Seagull is no father to her and Humphrey the heron is the only father she needs. He’s coming for afternoon tea, by the way. Count Bingo is collecting him and we think Owl Pacino will probably join us.
Me: I wondered why Poppy was baking so many scones.
Nell: It’s important that decisions are made.
Me: Yes. Personally, I always put jam on before the cream.
Nell: Not about scones, about the Beefies. Honestly, I despair of you sometimes.