Me: Where is Poppy?
Nell: Enjoying a little quiet in the sunshine.
Me: After yesterday’s excitement she probably needs it. Tell me what happened again.
Nell: It all started really well. Harriet had printed out recipe cards and people were gathering to enjoy a macaron, or a pasty and get their recipe signed. Charlie was in a comfortable chair by reception so he could chat to the customers.
Me: Was David watching discreetly?
Nell: If tap dancing in a top hat and tails is discreet then yes, he was.
Me: He’s an awfully good dancer.
Nell: That’s what Charlie said. Anyway, suddenly there was a kerfuffle at the door and these three floozies sauntered in.
Me: Floozies? That’s a bit harsh.
Nell: Yes, painted claws, false eyelashes and more bling than The Cat at Christmas.
Me: Gosh. Who were they?
Nell: The Kardashandrun sisters. Kitten, Katney and Klawy. Painted hussies with fluffy tails. I mean they can’t even spell.
Me: Goodness me.
Nell: They barged past The Cat, knocking over Gladys just as she was making her entrance.
Me: How rude.
Nell: Yes. They were making a beeline for Malcolm when Susan stepped in.
Me: How awfully brave for a small seagull. What did Susan say?
Nell: “Would you mind joining the queue, please?” Well, that stopped them in their tracks.
Me: What did they say?
Nell: “Of course, Sweetie, anything for Malcolm and his marvellous macarons.”
Me: What a surprise.
Nell: Quite. It seems underneath that somewhat vulgar exterior they are actually quite approachable. Gladys got on famously with them, of course.
Me: She did?
Nell: Yes. Kitten apologised for knocking her over and complimented her on her hair. They loved her dancing and were charmed by David.
Me: Are they the secret admirers then?
Nell: Yes. But Kitten was only ever interested in Malcolm’s macarons. She wants them for their next party and now that he and Susan are engaged they have invited us all to celebrate with them.
Me: Wait a minute. Malcolm is engaged?
Nell: Yes. He proposed on one leg. It’s a flamingo thing.
Me: I never knew.
Nell: Everyone knows that. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.