Me: It was lovely to see you making a new friend on the beach.
Nell: That is wrong on so many levels. It’s not my first day at kindergarten, you know. I’m a mature Labrador with plenty of friends.
Me: But I saw you give that dear little dog a lick.
Nell: No, you saw that dear little dog invade my personal space until I asked it to stop.
Me: Oh, I thought it was ever so sweet. It was called Lily.
Nell: Yes. I know as it kept following me around shouting “Play with Lily.”
Me: Oh.
Nell: One of my pet hates, apart from the above mentioned invasion of personal space, is animals and people who talk about themselves in the third person.
Me: I know what you mean.
Nell: “Jack is on the ball today.” “Edward would like another biscuit.” Ridiculous.
Me: Yes. But it was just trying to be friendly.
Nell: “One of Hilary’s strengths is her perseverance.” Good grief. Just say “I am good at persevering.” What’s so difficult about that?
Me: Gosh, you are out of sorts today. Shall I bring you a cup of Earl Grey?
Nell: Yes, please, and some lightly buttered toast.
Me: I’m presuming you would rather David didn’t sing?
Nell: Correct.
Me: And a contemporary dance is out of the question?
Nell: Just get the tea.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
