Me: Don’t make that face, Nell. I’m trying to take your Christmas photo.
Nell: I’m sitting on pine needles.
Me: That will be Gladys. She’s got them caught in her fur.
Nell: Didn’t she realise dressing up as the fairy on top of the Christmas tree doesn’t actually mean climbing up there?
Me: Dave got her down, though.
Nell: Only after she’d been there a few hours. I thought she was singing carols but apparently it was a call for help.
Me: Malcolm is still picking needles out of her fur.
Nell: Yes, and he is supposed to be peeling vegetables.
Me: By the way I didn’t know Dave played squash.
Nell: He doesn’t. Poppy does, of course, at national level and Mutley is an excellent player even at his age. Slow and steady. I used to play but I prefer tennis nowadays, or a round of golf.
Me: But I heard Dave talking about squash with Harriet.
Nell: That will be Butternut squash. He is making soup for the cafe. Harriet has an excellent recipe. I’m not sure he should be wearing his top hat to do it.
Me: Or tasting quite as much.
Nell: Poppy has told him repeatedly to use a spoon for tasting, not a jug.
Me: Can you try smiling now, please?
Nell: Did The Cat just walk past in a red sequinned suit?
Nell: With a small chihuahua on a lead?
Nell: I have no words.
Me: That makes a change.
Nell: I beg your pardon.