Irresponsible behaviour

Me: Please look at me, Nell.

Nell: No. You are behaving with reckless abandonment.

Me: I’m just going to visit my sister.

Nell: You are turning your back on medical advice and travelling across the country.

Me: It’s Buckinghamshire, not Scotland.

Nell: And you are not taking me with you.

Me: I’m going by train, Nell. You wouldn’t like it.

Nell: Have I ever been on a train?

Me: No.

Nell: So you don’t actually know then. I rest my case.

Me: I need you to look after everyone.

Nell: Exactly. It’s always the same. You throw caution to the wind and I am left picking up the pieces.

Me: I booked this ages ago and I miss her and the boys.

Nell: What boys?

Me: Seamus, Boo and Nigel.

Nell: Are you talking about Naughty Nigel the Welsh labrador with soft blonde hair?

Me: I am.

Nell: A close friend of No Good Boyo’s?

Me: Yes.

Nell: And Irish Seamus the terrier with a quick temper and curly ginger hair?

Me: He says he’s a strawberry blonde.

Nell: And handsome boy Boo?

Me: Yes, the labrador with soft black hair.

Nell: I don’t care about his hair.

Me: You mentioned everyone else’s.

Nell: You better finish packing and I will break the news to the twins.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Poppy has made you a picnic to eat on the train. Sandwiches with the crusts cut off, a few scones, a slice of cake and a flask of tea.

Me: How kind.

Nell: I have added a photo of us all. Just in case.

Me: I’ll miss you but it’s only until Sunday.

Nell: It’s a shame you’ll miss the party tomorrow but I will tell you all about it.

Me: What party?

Nell: Count Bingo and the Flamingos are performing. Poppy says there will be steak for everyone. Except Malcolm, of course, he is happy with prawns.

Me: Don’t forget to keep in touch. It’s a long journey so I will be checking my phone.

Nell: Of course I’ll be in touch. I’m in charge of your recovery. I expect regular updates. Just because you behave irresponsibly does not mean I have to do the same.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Now wrap up warmly as it’s cold out there. Give them all my love and don’t worry I have everything under control.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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