Nell: I was just explaining to Harriet that Malcolm probably can’t stay.
Me: Why? I don’t think I have ever met a more polite flamingo in my life.
Nell: You don’t know any other flamingos.
Me: I know the ones that keep shouting outside.
Nell: They want Malcolm to come home.
Me: I don’t think Malcolm wants to go home.
Nell: Harriet agrees with you. She and Malcolm had a heart to heart last night after Strictly.
Me: Did they?
Nell: Yes. Apparently Malcolm’s heart is not in it. He is struggling with being a real flamingo. He is so much smaller and quieter.
Me: He loved it when Dave and The Cat danced the samba.
Nell: Yes. But a real flamingo would have joined in. Malcolm was much happier watching from the sidelines.
Me: Maybe that’s why he wears glasses.
Nell: What on earth are you talking about? He wears glasses because he is short sighted.
Me: Where is he now?
Nell: Helping Poppy prepare the Sunday roast. We are having chicken.
Me: He’s not going to eat one of his own, Nell.
Nell: Of course he isn’t. Poppy is making him a crab risotto. One of the Dartmouth dachshunds had a crab to spare so David’s driven over to pick it up on his motorbike.
Me: Did Gladys go in the sidecar?
Nell: Yes, and The Cat. It’s the Dartmouth Food Fair so they are having a look around while they are there.
Me: Good idea.
Nell: Harriet says life is tough for the lesser flamingos. The greater flamingos boss them around.
Me: Do you think Malcolm is part of the hostile takeover?
Nell: We don’t know.
Me: I think he should be allowed to stay.
Nell: Mutley is going to have a quiet word with him after lunch. He will report back and there will be a family vote.
Me: I’m voting for Malcolm.
Nell: Have you considered the fact that Malcolm might be a spy?
Me: Isn’t he too pink and polite to be a spy?
Nell: I’m not even going to answer that question.
Me: Sorry.
