Don’t eat the conkers

Me: You are up early.

Nell: Yes. After yesterday’s excitement I felt the need to check on David.

Me: How is he?

Nell: He was very hungry so Poppy made him a light breakfast of scrambled egg with buttered toast.

Me: That’s good.

Nell: We are now sitting in front of the fire discussing things a dog should never eat. Harriet is taking notes.

Me: I hope conkers are top of the list.

Nell: I like to call them horse chestnuts but yes, they feature prominently.

Me: Thank goodness Kev saw him eat them and drove him straight over to the vets.

Nell: Yes. Alex gave him a swift injection and David spent a rather unpleasant few hours getting rid of the horrible things.

Me: Poor Dave.

Nell: I would like to hope he has seen the error of his ways but I think beach walks might be advisable at the moment.

Me: Is he very low?

Nell: Not at all. He was FaceTiming with Sally first thing this morning giving her all the gory details.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: If I have to hear her say: “My poor darling Davey” again I will be the one being sick.

Me: It’s young love.

Nell: On another note I made an interesting discovery last night.

Me: What?

Nell: Mutley has selective deafness.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: You know how you call him and he never hears, or I ask him something and he doesn’t answer?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Well, a few hours after David got back Kev decided that a few plain biscuits could be given as treats.

Me: Yes.

Nell: We Labradors got into our receiving treats positions. Harriet to the far left, David in the middle and myself on the right. Poppy likes to move freely, as does Mutley. It’s a terrier thing.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Well, Kev decided to try and see if Mutley remembered the whisper trick Chris taught him years ago. So he whispered “Woof”.

Me: What happened?

Nell: Mutley whispered “Woof” back. Just like the old days.

Me: But he can’t hear.

Nell: He obviously can when he wants to.

Me: A bit like you then.

Nell: Excuse me?

Me: Sorry.

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