Me: Dave isn’t well. He doesn’t even want his bone.
Nell: I knew he shouldn’t have gone with The Cat.
Me: He wasn’t with The Cat officially. He was a customer.
Nell: He ordered prawn profiteroles.
Nell: And a crayfish croissant.
Me: That’s really dreadful.
Nell: And he ate them.
Me: Oh no.
Nell: At least The Cat was successful. The chef is an extremely loud seagull called Gulldon Ramsay. Shouts at everyone and uses foul language.
Me: Don’t you mean fowl?
Nell: I shall ignore that. Apparently the Beefies simply fly into the kitchen and drop fish into a bucket.
Me: That’s not very hygienic.
Nell: It’s not only unhygienic, it is filched from the fishermen.
Nell: It is completely out of order and typical of their grab and fly attitude.
Me: But how do we prove it?
Nell: The Cat took photos on its iPhone. The plan is to tell the Beefies we will send the photos to the Daily Growl if they don’t sell the cafe back to Jago.
Me: I hope it works.
Nell: So do I. When David wakes, remind him to post a review on TreatAdvisor.
Me: I don’t think they deserve it, Nell.
Nell: A negative review, of course. Do keep up.
Me: Yes, sorry.