Nell: Mutley is in two minds.
Me: What about?
Nell: Camping. At his age he says he prefers five star accommodation.
Me: I’m on his side.
Nell: Harriet is desperate for him to come. She’s upstairs now trying to persuade him. It all sounds a little too outdoorsy for me.
Me: Have you considered glamping?
Nell: The Cat already suggested it but I don’t do sequins.
Me: It’s not like that. Well, I suppose some of the gypsy caravans might have a few.
Nell: And I am not playing a tambourine.
Me: Of course not, but what about a Mongolian yurt, or a North American tipi?
Nell: I was thinking of staying in Devon, thank you.
Me: Maybe we should talk to Jim.
Nell: Yes, he’s a sensible chap. As long as I have pure Egyptian cotton bed linen I will be fine.
Me: I’m not sure that’s possible.
Nell: I suppose I can bring it with me.
Nell: I hope there is a good sized television. I don’t like to miss the local news.
Me: I’m not sure there will be television, or the internet, or even electricity.
Nell: I beg your pardon. You’ll be telling me there’s no bath next.
Me: Well, actually….
Nell: Enough. This is too much. We need a family meeting. I cannot be expected to live like Bear Growls. I am a labrador.
Me: Yes, sorry.