To camp or not to camp

Nell: Mutley is in two minds.

Me: What about?

Nell: Camping. At his age he says he prefers five star accommodation.

Me: I’m on his side.

Nell: Harriet is desperate for him to come. She’s upstairs now trying to persuade him. It all sounds a little too outdoorsy for me.

Me: Have you considered glamping?

Nell: The Cat already suggested it but I don’t do sequins.

Me: It’s not like that. Well, I suppose some of the gypsy caravans might have a few.

Nell: And I am not playing a tambourine.

Me: Of course not, but what about a Mongolian yurt, or a North American tipi?

Nell: I was thinking of staying in Devon, thank you.

Me: Maybe we should talk to Jim.

Nell: Yes, he’s a sensible chap. As long as I have pure Egyptian cotton bed linen I will be fine.

Me: I’m not sure that’s possible.

Nell: I suppose I can bring it with me.

Me: Yes.

Nell: I hope there is a good sized television. I don’t like to miss the local news.

Me: I’m not sure there will be television, or the internet, or even electricity.

Nell: I beg your pardon. You’ll be telling me there’s no bath next.

Me: Well, actually….

Nell: Enough. This is too much. We need a family meeting. I cannot be expected to live like Bear Growls. I am a labrador.

Me: Yes, sorry.

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