Nell: Would you kindly leave me in peace? I am trying to have a quiet conversation with Poppy. We are deciding on this week’s menu.
Me: It’s just that Dave is in the garden having an argument with Jim’s brother, Ruff.
Nell: I told David to leave Ruff alone.
Me: Ruff laughed at Dave’s waistcoat. He said sequins were for girls.
Nell: Tell David to turn the other jowl.
Me: It’s a bit late for that.
Nell: Why?
Me: Dave threw a scone at him.
Nell: Well, that’s completely unacceptable. One does not throw food. Especially Poppy’s scones. Did Ruff throw it back?
Me: No, he ate it.
Nell: An understandable reaction. One should never waste good food.
Me: It’s ok. Jim and Harriet are there now.
Nell: Honestly, I have far more to worry about than a food fight between two adolescents.
Me: But what if one of them had a knife?
Nell: Now listen, we have talked about this. Much as the Daily Growl would love it, we are not living in a real life West Side Story. David and Ruff were armed with scones not knives. The worst that was going to happen was a little jam, or cream, on their fur.
Me: You are right.
Nell: I am. Now can Poppy and I continue with our conversation, or is someone attacking Harriet with a sandwich?
Me: No, it’s fine. Sorry.
