Book · Summer · West Side Story

The Exclusive

Nell: Never trust a Jack Russell in a trilby.

Me: I will bear that in mind.

Nell: I knew it when I laid eyes on him. Out for a story at any cost.

Me: What’s happened?

Nell: I was enjoying my morning toast and marmalade when David rushed in brandishing the Daily Growl and saying he was famous.

Me: Gosh!

Nell: The foolish animal allowed himself to be manipulated and now he is front page news.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Harriet is not going to like this at all and neither is Jim. I know they come from opposite sides of the fence but we get on well with the farm dogs considering.

Me: Well, we did.

Nell: Why did David have to say he wishes Jim could surf? He should have guessed they would manipulate it.

Me: He won’t have meant it badly. What are we going to do?

Nell: David just needs to apologise to Jim and steer clear of his brother Ruff for a while. He’s the real hot head.

Me: I knew it. This is going to escalate into a full scale war.

Nell: Do calm down.

Me: If they suggest meeting Dave in an alley he has to refuse.

Nell: We live on a farm. We don’t have any alleys. Good grief.

Me: Fortunately most of the farm dogs are too busy to dance, or sing, because when they start doing that you know they mean business.

Nell: Excuse me?

Me: Or clicking their fingers. That’s a real sign. I’m so glad they have paws.

Nell: Right. That’s enough. You are blurring the lines between fact and fiction again. Have a cup of tea, or go for a swim.

Me: Yes, sorry.

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