The Dogfather

Me: Why has Mutley climbed on the compost bags?

Nell: So he can see the Big House.

Me: Why?

Nell: He is taking The Cat to lunch at the yacht club.

Me: Goodness me.

Nell: It’s ridiculous at his age. He’s behaving like a love sick teenager. It’s worse than Harriet and Jim. I don’t know what people are going to think when he turns up with that painted clawed floozy.

Me: Do you think The Cat feels the same way?

Nell: Of course it doesn’t. It’s after his money.

Me: I didn’t know he had any.

Nell: Mutley owns properties all over London.

Me: He does?

Nell: Yes. He’s known as The Dogfather. You must have heard him mention The Blind Barker.

Me: Yes. It’s a friend, isn’t it?

Nell: No. Silly. It’s his pub. Look, there it comes.

Me: It’s wearing a diamanté collar.

Nell: Good grief. Who wears a feather boa in the middle of the day?

Me: Dave?

Nell: Apart from David. Honestly I thought Mutley would have more sense at his age.

Me: Why is he called The Dogfather?

Nell: It comes from his time as an East End gangster. It’s a sign of respect. That Cat better behave, or they will be sending the boys round.

Me: The farm dogs?

Nell: No, the farm dogs are amateurs. You really have no idea, do you?

Me: No, sorry.

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